Dwayne Wade's House Looks Like Butt

I don't claim to be an expert when it comes to home decor. However, I PROMISE you that if I had $8.5 million dollars to spend on a home that I could do much better than the Florida monstrosity built by Dwayne Wade of the Miami Heat. I would start by going with the full body nude portrait of myself on the main level as opposed to the torso and above portrait. I would have gone with the the Batman bathroom instead of Spider Man as well. It would up the resell value because Batman is more bad-ass then Spider Man plus the Batman mask really accentuates my best physical feature - my piercing-blue, Daniel Craig-like eyes.

Honestly, has Mr. Wade never picked up a copy of Dwell? How about his interior designer? Did nobody learn from the disaster that is Karl Malone's former SLC abode? What a colossal waste of money. Even the pool is lame. Come on. I could kill this house on a quarter of the budget and I have never taken a single design class.

If you haven't already clicked on the link to the photos of the house, do it now. You have to see it to fully appreciate it.