Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Kid On The Bloc

Over the last couple of years I have had a real difficult time jumping on the Bloc Party bandwagon. I'm not really sure why. I was just never really that into them. Now I kind of am and it is all due to the song Biko off their 2008 album Intimacy. I heard this song for the first time a few weeks or maybe it was a couple of months ago, it really is all just a blur these days, while listening to my favorite radio program on KCRW. The program used to be called Nocturna but for some reason they did away with the name and the show is now just referenced by its DJ - Raul Campos.

Anyways, I love this song and I have been meaning to share it for quite some time now. So without further ado, I give you Biko by Bloc Party:

Monday, December 29, 2008

Destiny Calls


Get lost in the world courtesy of Ajira Airways and Destination Destiny. Fly anywhere for $87. New destinations beginning January 21st.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Who Watches The Watchmen?

Who watches the Watchmen? Well, it looks like Fox is doing the watching. Word on the street is that the honorable Gary A. Feess intends to grant Fox's claim that it owns a copyright interest which consists of, at the very least, distribution rights. 

I don't mean to sound too self-aggrandizing but this is how I predicted the lawsuit would shake out months ago. I am still shocked that Warner Bros. didn't ensure that they fully owned the rights to Watchmen before sinking millions of dollars into making this movie. So needless to say, I am quite interested in seeing how the settlement finally gets resolved. Will Fox get a flat settlement? Will they get a percentage of gross receipts? Will the March 2009 release be delayed?

On a different Watchmen related note, I say the new trailer before a screening of The Wrestler. This trailer appears much more effective from a marketing perspective in the sense that it isn't targeted as much at the "fanboy" who already knows and loves the story as it is at the general viewer. It tells a much more cohesive story and gives the potential viewer a much better idea as to what they would be going to the theater to see. The new trailer does this while still maintaining the total awesomeness of the first trailer. The music choices for the two trailers are just phenomenal. The Beginning is the End is the Beginning by Smashing Pumkins in the first and Take a Bow by Muse in the second are mesmerizingly perfect. Just as perfect as Snyder's use of Just Like You Imagined by NIN in the epic trailer for 300.

So yeah, I really can't wait to see Watchmen. I really hope the lawsuit settlement gets wrapped up ASAP so that the release is not delayed by too much. Meanwhile, if you are looking for a new book to read than check out the Watchmen graphic novel. You don't need to be a comic book nerd to appreciate the story. The character development and story telling are excellent. There is a reason it was included on Time's list of 100 best novels.

PS I'm totally in love with Sally Jupiter. Even if she did have a thing, albeit short lived thing, for Vince. 

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Tis The Season


Merry Christmas. I can't wait to watch Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story tomorrow. By far two of my favorite traditions.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Garance Dore

Each morning I read the latest post and admire the latest pictures by Scott Schuman - The Sartorialist. This morning there was a post that led me to this other fantastic photography blog maintained by a French woman named Garance Dore

The style of the photos is similar to that of Scott Schuman with the main difference taking shape in the increased emphasis on the upper body of the subject. Oh yeah and the blog is also in French. I guess that is a big difference as well. As I was perusing through the archives I kept hoping that I would magically start to understand what I was "reading." No such luck. Maybe next week?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Gatsby Casting Ideas

So after spending the afternoon musing on pontenial cast members for the rumored Baz Luhrman Great Gatsby Project, I have come up with a few ideas. My initial idea without having seen a script or anything (which makes this whole post an exercise in putting the cart way before the horse) is to shoot for a cast with an age range of mid to late twenties. Although, I could also buy an adaptation where everybody is significantly older which would lend itself to such potential actors as Brad Pitt, Jude Law, Kate Beckinsale, Nicole Kidman and maybe even The Clooney. Essentially the usual suspects.

Like I said though, I am leaning more towards a younger cast and once again it was a little difficult for me to get away from the usual suspects. I tried to think a little outside the box and if I put in a little more time, I might be able to come up with a few more ideas. Here is what I have so far:

James Franco - Gatsby
James McAvoy - Nick
Ryan Gosling - I could see Gosling as either Nick or Gatsby
Lee Pace - Nick
January Jones - Daisy
Rachel McAdams - Daisy. Heck, why don't we just bring back the whole cast of The Notebook and have Gosling play Gatsby and have James Marsden play Tom. Marsden "wins" this time.

So that is what I have so far. I may add to this list over the next couple of days though if someone comes to mind. I really hope this movie gets made. And for all those Luhrman haters out there (you know who you are) I disagree with you. I think he can do an excellent job with this story and could give it a fresh and maybe slightly unconventional take ala Romeo + Juliet. As for Australia, I completely enjoyed the opulence of the spectacle.

The Great Gatsby and Baz Luhrman

Word on the street is that the next project for Baz Luhrman is going to be The Great Gatsby. Supposedly he has purchased the rights to the F. Scott Fitzgerald classic and will be making/distributing the film with 20th Century Fox. It goes without saying that I am pretty excited. I love Baz Luhrman films and I love The Great Gatsby. I can't wait to see how Luhrman works out his adaptation. 

I also can't wait to see who gets cast as Nick, Jay, and Daisy. My only request is that life does not continue to immitate art and we end up with Vincent Chase as Nick. I think I am going to give this some thought and in a future post offer my suggestions for the casting of these three roles. Meanwhile, I would love to hear who all 3 of my readers think would be good choices for these roles.

East Egg 'til I die, right? Or something like that.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Give (the city of brotherly) Love a Chance

A couple of weeks ago I was talking with a few friends and they started talking about how funny It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is. They insisted that I give it a try and guaranteed that I would laugh. I must admit, I was quite skeptical. I have resisted watching the show over the last couple of years because I had this notion that I would not like it because it was a show for douchebags from Arizona and/or Orange County. It was a show for dudes who sat around and talked about tits and creatine (In order to maintain my journalistic integrity, I must state that that last line was not my own. I'm not sure where I heard it first but it still makes me laugh to this day.). I am not sure where this preconceived notion of the show stemmed from. Maybe it was something in the marketing that triggered this response. Who knows? Irregardless (I chuckeld to myself as I wrote that), I finally decided to give the show a chance. 

I started with season one, courtesy of the excellent website known as Hulu, and after watching the first four episodes I happily admit that I am hooked. I laugh out loud at least a 3 or 4 times each episode. The show, while a little on the crass side, is absolutlely hilarious. So far Charlie is my favorite character but Mac is a close second. Absolutely ridiculous yet funnier than a screen door on a battleship.

So yeah, if you had the same preconceived notions regarding the show that I did I recommend trying to get past them and giving the show a chance. You just might find something that will make you laugh.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Sia on Letterman

Last night I was enjoying dinner with a great group of friends and as is almost customary by now, we discussed and debated various media related topics such as the current season of 30 Rock, why Pushing Daisies was cancelled, what would happen if one of our friends who is 6 or 7 months pregnant gave birth to a Benjamin Button, and the greatness of David Mamet. One of the best little pieces of trivia I learned was that Mike Myers kind of stumbled into his role in the super- mega-blockbuster franchise Shrek. Chris Farley was originally cast as Shrek, but upon his untimely passing, the role was given, with much trepidation, to Mike Myers and the rest is history. Billion dollar history.

In addition to the aforementioned topics, we also discussed the ins and outs of the oft visited topic of Letterman vs Leno. This conversation reminded me of a musical performance by Sia on Letterman a few weeks ago. Sia is simply amazing and her performance is fantastic. However, what really makes this clip worthwhile is Sia's reaction when Letterman comes on stage to congratulate her on her performance and wrap the show. Her genuine happiness and excitement is quite infectious. Seriously. It is totally worth the 3 and a half or 4 minutes of your time to enjoy the entire performance and receive the tremendous pay-off in the final seconds. I totally fell in love with Sia all over again.


PS We also had the traditional Fathers Office sucks, no The Counter sucks argument. Some things never change. It is actually quite comforting sometimes.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Lost Season 5 Sneak Peek



It's so on like Donkey Kong. I can't wait for January 21st.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

808s & Heartbreak

Kanye's new album 808s & Heartbreak (great name by the way) is out now and my initial reaction is that I like it. It is really different from his previous efforts. I really like the haunting Auto-Tune sound of his voice coupled with the shoegaze styled beats. I actually heard one person compare the sound to that of M83. Essentially what this album does is make it even harder for me to reconcile the complete and utter douchiness of his media persona with my enjoyment of his music. One thing that has helped is that I have it on good authority from one of my friends that has spent extensive time with Kanye that his media bravado and annoyance is all an act. He is actually kind of shy and reserved and treats people around him very well. Oh yeah, and I like that be Kanye ad for Absolut that they used to show in theaters before movies started.

So yeah, I like the new album and I think I like Kanye. You can stream the whole album here.

Party You Can Believe In



Now this is my kind of house party.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Newsflash

Newsflash. Jean Claude Van Damme can act. For real. So you're skeptical. I understand. I was too. But then I saw JCVD. It was great. And the great JCVD himself has a few scenes that are quite moving. And I don't mean moving in the watch me kick this cigarette out of some dude's mouth way, but moving in the wow, I might just tear up a little as I watch JCVD bare his soul way. It was seriously a great movie. 

Before I had seen it, one of my friends made the bold statement that it was Van Damme's best movie ever. I, being the skeptic that I am, was a bit incredulous and immediately said "Better than Bloodsport?" He replied "Better than Bloodsport." I was still not a believer. But now I have been fully converted. It is better than Bloodsport. Much better than Bloodsport even though Bloodsport will always hold a special place in my heart.

My only complaint about JCVD is that the subtitles were sometimes hard to read because they blended in with the lighting of the scenes. Other than that, the movie was great. I know it is only in limited release, but if it is available near you, check it out. You will love it. I promise. 

Oh yeah, Slumdog Millionaire is pretty amazing as well. Be sure not to miss that one. Spoiler alert, Danny Boyle does not make the traditional Danny Boyle move of driving the train off the tracks in the third act. Slumdog Millionaire is excellent from start to finish. I wouldn't be shocked if it wins best picture this year.

Keith & Leslie Get Married

Last Friday, my good friends Keith & Leslie got married. It was wedding number 1,342 that I have attended in the last year. Seriously. At least this one was not only in Santa Monica, but it was like 4 blocks from my house. A welcome change of pace for sure.

While at the wedding, I was able to take this photo of my friend Broek. Definitely my favorite photo in a while.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Pushing Sadness

There have been rumblings over the last couple of weeks that Pushing Daisies, one of my top 5 TV dramas of all time, was going to be canceled mid-season. Even though I knew this sad news was coming and tried to prepare myself, it made the actual news of the cancellation no less disheartening. Especially after so fully enjoying this weeks episode. The scene changes with the curtains opening and closing were great. And The Magic Book of Magic, simply  hilarious. 

Ned, Chuck, Emerson, Olive, Vivian, Lily, and Lily's eyepatch. You will be missed. I will cherish our final seven episodes together.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Monday, November 17, 2008

Quantum of Awesomeness

Don't believe the "Bond Traditionalists" and their negative hype. Quantum of Solace was great. The whole "James Bourne" line of complaints is just plain lame. Sure, there were a few stylistic elements that were similar. Most notably, the editing of some of the action sequences. Guess what, that is bound to happen when an editor from Bourne Supremacy also edits Quantum of Solace. Deal with it. I could continue to rant about the "Bond Traditionalists" but I am going to stop here. I don't want to let their Negative Nancy attitudes ruin a perfectly good movie going experience. Instead I will briefly list a few of the things I liked:





  • The Bolivian desert was the perfect setting for the revenge theme of the movie and where Bond was at emotionally.
  • Judi Dench was excellent.
  • I thought the run time was perfect. It didn't feel too long which was one of my only complaints about Casino Royale.
  • The opening car chase was off the heezy fo sheezy.
  • I thought the two vengeance story lines came together quite nicely.
  • The two Bolivian hotels were amazing.
  • Absolutely loved the opera scene. My favorite shot from the movie took place at the opera. It was the low/wide angle shot when Bond and a group of villains walked into the same room. Bond on the left and the villains on the right. It was just a glimpse but it was perfect.
  • Daniel Craig.
The best way to sum up my opinion is that I really like the new direction of the Bond franchise with Daniel Craig. I feel like it is Bond for adults as opposed to Bond for teenage boys. I like the grittiness and I like the tragedy.

So if you are a "Bond Traditionalist" you probably won't enjoy Quantum of Solace like I did. If you prefer the more mature version of Bond as established with Casino Royale, than you will probably enjoy Quantum of Solace. Choose accordingly.

Friday, November 14, 2008

30 Rock?

Is it just me or has 30 Rock lost something this year? I feel like I am watching Amare Stoudemire immediately after his microfracture surgery. There are glimpses of greatness and there is the sense of a lurking giant but it just isn't coming off the pick and roll with the same ferocity. I am really hoping that this is just me or just a bump in the road and 30 Rock will round back in to form similar to Amare and his domination this year.



Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Diet Grape Soda?

Earlier today, I was standing in front of the fridge at work trying to decide which flavor of soda to drink. I ended up commenting to one of my co-workers that I wished we had grape soda because I was really in the mood for one. This sparked a conversation about the greatness of grape soda which led to a discussion about grape soda being "gangsta" because it doesn't come in diet. As we were wrapping up our anectdotal tales about never seeing diet grape soda, another co-worker mentioned that a few years ago our fridges were stocked with diet white grape soda and that it truly tasted like the sweet nectar of the gods. 

This comment literally made me stop mid sentence and I may or may not have heard a record screaching to a halt in the background. First of all, WHITE grape soda? Second of all DIET white grape soda? So much for my grape soda is so gangsta way of thinking. Diet white grape soda is right up there with diet 7up on my list of least gangsta sodas.

Even though my mind was just blown and I was more than a little disappointed in my new found knowledge, I must admit that I was quite intrigued. Diet white grape soda really sounds quite delicious to me and so the hunt was on. Thanks to Google, I now know that diet white grape soda is produced by Diet Rite and is availabe on Amazon. I may or may not have already ordered 2 cases.

Monday, November 3, 2008

I Heart Tracy Morgan

Tracy Morgan. What more needs to be said? Enjoy.



Video courtesy of English.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

FreeDarko.com Book Release

My favorite website, and there is not a remotely close number 2, for NBA analysis and discussion is FreeDarko.com. I love their artisitc/intellectual approach to watching and appreciating the game of basketball. I really don't love their politics. Now that the NBA regular season has started once again, I can finally return to enjoying the blog and comments. While this is all quite nice, the purpose of this post is to direct you, the reader, to the website that FreeDarko has set up to promote their new book The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac (foreword by Gilbert Arenas). The website design is excellent and the excerpts of the book, which is scheduled for release on November 11th, look amazing. I can't stop looking at the artwork. If I was a Suns fan I would immediately order the Amare print. Being the Lakers fan that I am, I am seriously considering the Kobe print. It perfectly captures his essence. If you are an NBA fan, this book should be at the top of your Christmas list. If you are not an NBA fan but enjoy graphic design, you might find this book appealing as well even if much of the meaning behind the art does not make any sense to you. Regardless, give it a look. You might see something you like.


See below for a preview of the Kobe section of the book:

Friday, October 24, 2008

Late to the Game


I just found this cool little blog called Little People - a tiny street art project the other day. It is a project done by a street artist in London who uses the moniker Slinkachu and places hand painted miniature figures around the city and takes pictures of the installations. There is also a book that was released on September 5th. I think I am going to buy it. So if you have a some down time, check out the archives on the blog. It will totally be worth your time. I promise. 

Friday, October 17, 2008

Good News, Yeah?

According to Variety, AMC picked up Mad Men for a third season. However, Lionsgate has not yet locked up the series creator and producer, Matthew Weiner, for a third season. Word on the street is that Lionsgate wants to sign him to a 2 year deal with the intent of using the contract as leverage to secure an early commitment from AMC for a 4th season. However, Weiner has been shopping around town to get a feel for the market and possibly secure a development or overall deal with another studio. Hopefully, Lionsgate and Weiner can come to terms agreeable to both parties to ensure that the magic of Mad Men is not diminished.

And one more thing. Click here if you would like to ask Matthew Weiner a question about Mad Men. The answers will be posted on Monday, October 20th. After reading through the questions posted to date, they look pretty solid. I can't wait to hear what Weiner has to say.



Monday, October 13, 2008

Strawberry Pie

Round two of my attempts to become the Piemaker consisted of a delectable strawberry pie. The only major problem I encountered was when I baked the empty pie crust. For some reason, the crust kind of collapsed or shrunk. The nice lip I had created along the edge of the pie pan ended up half way down the side of the pie pan wall when all was said and done. My esteemed roommate believes this is due to not punching holes in the bottom of the crust which resulted in the bubble of air that formed which consequently pulled the crust down and away from the top edge of the pie pan. I tend to agree with him. I will try out this theory with the next pie crust I bake.

Another little change I would like to make involves the placement of the strawberries and the strawberry filling. The recipe stated that the fresh strawberries should be place in the crust and the filling should be poured on top. In the future I would like to place 1/3 to 1/2 of the strawberries in the crust, add the filling, and then strategically place the remaining  strawberries over the top of the filling. I think it will be much more appealing to the eye.

Finally, I think I might need to pick up a mixer of some sort so that I can make real whipped cream. Reddi-Whip from the can is ok but it pales in comparison to the real thing. 

In keeping with tradition (assuming that one previous blog post equates tradition), I give this effort a B- for
 aesthetics, an A+ for flavor, and an overall grade of this pie tastes so good I want to make little pie babies with it. And for the record, Carl has dibs on the little pie babies.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

My DVR

Here is a quick summary of what I am currently watching on TV:

Pushing Daisies - Season 2 started last week and I am still so in love with the production design, characters, and fairytale story that I think I want to marry it. Please watch. If this show gets cancelled I will cry. For real.

Survivor - This time the contestants are in Gabon which might be in Africa. I'm not really sure. I just know that there are elephants walking through camp. I was a little bugged by how easy it was to find the hidden immunity  idol but I can respect why they did it that way. Having the immunity idol in play earlier increases the potential for drama surrounding the idol. I love DVR because I can blow through an hour long episode in like 20 or 25 minutes.

The Shield - I absolutely love this show. It is in the final season and I am really interested to see how everything will be wrapped up. Vic, the strike team, and everything surrounding them is literally coming apart at the seems. The tension is so thick you could figuratively cut it with the cliche knife. The episode from this week was phenomenal. I don't want to spoil anything so that is all I will say.

Sons of Anarchy - A new show about a biker gang in California. Don't love it. Don't hate it. I will keep watching because I find the relationship between the Pres and the VP (the star of the show) to be intriguing. My one big complaint is that I can't stand the mom on the show (Peg from Married with Children). I can't really identify the reason, but she just really bothers me.

Entourage - The season started really strong. I mean really strong. I love the new story line with Vince coming to terms with no longer being the hottest item in Hollywood. I love how E is growing his list of clientele and I am intrigued by his current conflict of interest. With that said, the latest episode absolutely sucked. It was so bad that I thought I was watching an episode from last season and wanted to bang my head against the wall.

The Mentalist - Normally I don't really get into the CSI/Law & Order/Criminal Minds/etc. etc. etc. type shows. But that Simon Baker is just so dreamy. Plus the production values are really high. I enjoy the cinematography and the pacing of the episodes/dialogue. I am also intrigued by the underlying storyline of Simon Baker's character and his serial killer nemesis.

Worst Week - Worst Week is a UK import from what I gather. It is essentially multiple episodes of Meet the Parents. Everything that can go wrong, does. So far it has been pretty funny. The writing has been really sharp. The scenes are well lit and very visually appealing. But most important, the guy playing the lead is absolutely perfect for the role. I am totally pulling for him to overcome his clumsiness and win over the family of his soon to be bride. My only concern is that the premise could get stale after a couple more episodes. I am really interested in how they will develop the story and what they will do to keep the show fresh.

The Office - No commentary needed.

My Name is Earl - I was on the verge of no longer watching this show. Last season was really lame. I decided to give it a few more episodes and so far I have been pleased. The giant pigsquatch thing last week was pretty funny I thought. Maybe it is just my low expectations after last season. 

Mad Men - Arguably my second favorite show of all time. Season 2 is just as good as season 1 so far. If there is only one show on TV that you are watching right now, this should be it. Seriously.

How I Met Your Mother - HIMYM might be my second favorite comedy right now. The current season has started really strong. The burger episode had me laughing so hard I was actually in tears. I love Ted, Marshall, and Robyn. And Barney. Barney never disappoints. 

The Big Bang Theory - I am not sure why I still watch this show. I laugh maybe two or three times an episode. The costumes still make me angry. Really, I am not sure why I keep watching. But I do. I can get through an episode in like 20 minutes and I don't really hate it. It is just 20 minutes so it isn't really that big of a committment. Meh.

The Ultimate Fighter: Noguera vs Mir - The fighters look more skilled than ever. They also look more annoying than ever. Hopefully there will end up being at least one loveable douche.

Life - Life is another show that has really good production value. But what I enjoy the most is the main character who you may recognize from Band of Brothers. I'm not really sure what I can say about this LA cop story except that I enjoy watching. It is just a solid show.

Chuck - I still love the absurdness of this show. I still love the attractive women everywhere. And I still find Chuck to be so endearing. I would totally hang out with him if he was a real person. Plus it doesn't hurt that the character named Morgan cracks me up. Just an all around fun show.

Fringe - Fringe is the latest JJ Abrams project, who by the way is my hero. It is a cross between X-Files and CSI which seems to be getting better with each episode. The exposition in the first couple of episodes absolutely killed me but the writers seem to be hitting their stride and correcting this problem. This is definitely one of my favorite new shows this year.

Eleventh Hour - I haven't seen an episode of this show yet. It starts tonight I think. It is scheduled to record because I found the billboards and the name appealing. I don't even know what it is about.

Kath & Kim - I haven't seen an episode of this show either. I think it also starts tonight. The commercials I have seen look pretty funny though. 

Life on Mars - Once again, I think this show starts tonight. This is another UK import about a cop who somehow gets transported back in time to 1970. I have read nothing but good things about this show. I am interested to see if it holds my attention.

So that is a brief run down of what I am currently watching. Words don't do justice to how happy I am to have my old friends back in my life mixed with some new friends that are quickly becoming part of the proverbial family.

PS 30 Rock. End of October? What the hell?

PSS I officially broke up with Heroes. It was all I could do to make it through last season. I thought I would give it another chance this season. I almost killed myself during the first episode. Or was it two episodes in a special two hour premiere? I can't rememeber. I watched the first ten minutes or so of the next episode and that was it. I couldn't do it anymore. I stopped the episode and deleted it from my series recordings. It felt so good to finally cut all ties from what had sadly become a giant anchor around my neck. I would get into the dirty little details of why we broke up but as always I try to keep this a spoiler free zone. Plus, a gentleman never tells, yeah?

Monday, October 6, 2008

Pushing Pies

One of my favorite shows of all time, Pushing Daisies, kicked off its second season last week after a hiatus that seemed longer than the line at Cafe Rio. The return of this whimsical tale with its stellar production design, hilariously poignant characters, and genius writing full of silly alliteration was easily the highlight of my week. As I was watching the episode, I was completely fascinated by the pies. I had this sudden urge to bake my own pie. And so the adventure began.

It wasn't really an adventure though. Except for maybe the part where I almost clawed my eyes out trying to battle my way through Trader Joe's. I am about to have a nervous break down just thinking about it. Trader Joe's, why must you be such a thorny lover? So apart from Trader Joe's, things went pretty well considering it was my first pie ever. I chose to go with a traditional apple pie because I thought that it would be relatively simple and minimize my risk of disaster. The only real problem I had with the process was that the recipe for the pie crust left me a little short and I felt a little pressure to make it stretch to cover my needs. Apart from the potential dough shortfall, the crust turned out fantastic. It tastes excellent and the color and texture are exactly what I had envisioned. The only other problem I encountered was that the apple filling was a little on the runny side. This is really only a problem from an aesthetics viewpoint because it actually tastes like Christmas in my mouth. 

So my final grades of the inaugural pie are a B for aesthetics, a solid A for flavor, and an overall grade of "this pie is so good I want to sew my ass shut." I am really looking forward to my next effort. I am still trying to decide which type to go with though. Maybe an apple/pear combo? Or a tasty peach? Or maybe even a nice sweet potato pie?

Friday, October 3, 2008

Redford and Newman

I know that for the blagiverse, I am really late to the game on the whole passing away of the iconic Paul Newman. By the way, if you haven't seen Road to Perdition, do yourself a favor and check it out.

Yesterday, Time ran a fantastic article on their website which was written by good  old Leatherface himself. In the article, Robert Redford recounts a few anecdotes from his long friendship with Newman as well as offers great perspective on fame and  how Newman helped him to deal with his own fame. One of my favorite quotes from the article is the following:

"If you're in a position of being viewed iconically, you'd better have a mechanism to take yourself down to keep the balance. I think we did that for each other."

If you have a few minutes, take the time to read this excellent tribute. I found the insights and observations to be quite compelling. For another interesting, albeit much more sad, article, check out the blog post by Peter Bart. It was a great reminder of how fragile friendships can be.

And one more thing, at the end of the Redford piece there is link to Paul Newman: His Life in Photographs. Full of great memories and excellent photos.

Friday, September 26, 2008

The Proposal


Well played Jim. Well played.




PS I loved how this scene was shot. The rain. the gas station. The busy highway. Reminded me of why I like this show so much. The writers do such a good job with balancing the laughable absurdness that makes the show so funny with just enough elements of humanity and drama that I feel an actual connection with the characters. It really serves to make moments such as these that much more poignant and meaningful.

PSS What does the fact that I have emotional investments in fictional TV characters say about me? Not sure I really want to know. I am content with my bliss.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Sang Yoon - From Your Stomach To Your Ears

In case you didn't know, KCRW has this little program called The Guest DJ Project where "popular" personalities are invited to select 5 or 6 songs they would like to play. One of the various KCRW DJs then leads a discussion of the chosen songs and interviews the guest. Each segment lasts about 12 minutes or so. Over the last couple of months, I have really enjoyed these little programs.

Recently, September 3rd to be exact, the guest DJ was Sang Yoon. Faithful readers of this blog may recognize Sang Yoon as the creator of the inimitable Father's Office. Needless to say, I was quite excited to see what songs Sang Yoon would choose for his segment. I am happy to report that I was not disappointed. Here is a quick summary of what he chose:

1.) U2 - Unforgettable Fires
2.) Helen Stellar - IO
3.) Radiohead - Bulletproof
4.) Band of Horses - St. Augustine
5.) Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)

I was a little put off when I learned that the set was led off by U2. I'll be honest, I am not the biggest U2 fan. However, after hearing Sang Yoon's explanation for why he chose U2 I decided to not hold it against him because of the sentimental place U2 holds in his heart. Also, I respect the fact that he chose a song off an album prior to Joshua Tree which kind of adds a level of OG-ness to Sang Yoon. Plus, I kind of enjoy a few songs off War and even Boy. Wow, who would have thought that I would have defended U2 like this? Maybe I am just blinded by my adoration of Mr. Yoon.

The rest of Sang Yoon's choices were excellent in my opinion. I love Radiohead, Band of Horses, and Arcade Fire. I had never heard of Helen Stellar but I really enjoyed the song that was played and plan on purchasing the album.

Overall, it was a really solid set. I also thought it was cool that Sang Yoon personally chooses the music played at the Father's Office locations. Really what I am trying to say with this post is that my love affair with Father's Office not only continues but is now stronger than ever. In fact, I will probably be stopping by for a burger and sweet potato fries tonight.

Click here to stream or download a copy of the Sang Yoon Guest DJ program. A transcript of the show is available at that link as well.


Monday, September 8, 2008

Down With People

Many moons ago I posted about the greatness that was last year's Mack Dawg Productions release of we're people too! Well, this year's MDP release titled Down With People looks to be all that and a bag of chips as well. 



How can you go wrong with NWA? You can't. Looks like MDP is still on top. Even after all these years. It's been what, like 20 years now? Word to your Moms.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Google Chrome

I am trying out the new Google Chrome web browser today and so far I am liking it. It seems to load web pages really fast and I like the clean look of the browser. After a couple of hours of use I am a fan. Not sure if I am ready to give up Firefox yet but I will definitely keep using Chrome for at least a couple more days to see if I fully acclimate to it. Click here to download your own copy of Chrome and try it out for yourself.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Vicky Cristina Barcelona


So I watched Vicky Cristina Barcelona last week sometime. I can't really remember when. It is all a haze. But my rapidly fading memory is another topic for another day. Back to the film at hand. So I have been trying to think of a hook or an angle to take when discussing Vicky Cristina Barcelona and I am not having any luck. I really wanted to write something about this movie though because I really enjoyed it. I liked the narrator's voice. His cadence and tone just sat really well with me. I loved the golden tones of many of the scenes. I have been a sucker for the gold tones ever since Bad Boys. I also really enjoyed the humor of the film. The caricature of the boring New York businessman cracked me up. The pleated khakis were just perfect. I laughed every time he said or did anything. I also found the music to be quite enjoyable. Musical choices for films seems to be something that has really been catching my attention lately. And I am liking what I am seeing/hearing.

I was going to write more but I got sidetracked and now I am going to go home. So I will just say that I really enjoyed Vicky Cristina Barcelona. I recommend that you see it.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

5 Days in Prague

My good friend Mr. K.E. Paugh, who most definitely does not suffer from the debilitating never-nude syndrome, sent me a link today to the J. Crew webpage where they are featuring a short film/advertisement for their Autumn line of clothing. The film is titled Autumn Album 5 Days in Prague and was produced by Tom Dey and Coliena Rentmeester. I wasn't able to embed the film on my blog but you can click this link to watch at the J. Crew website.

Make sure you watch the film with the sound enabled. The music combined with the various images are beautiful. The aforementioned Mr. Paugh said that this was a perfect example of the style of films he wants to make and I have to agree with him. If I were creative enough to make films, this is the kind I would want to make. I loved the mixture of black and white with color. I loved the vignetting on the shot of the subway car. The shots through the car window with the rain drops were perfect. And the car. Oh the car. Words don't do it justice. I really, really want that car.

So yeah, the tone of the film is absolutely perfect. If I was their target audience was me, then Mission Accompolished! is all I can say. Tom and Coliena definitley deserve a banner. If you haven't watched the film yet, make sure you click on the link now. For reals yo, click on the link now. You won't be disappointed. I promise.

PS I might kind of be in love with one of the models in the film. I'll leave it up to you to guess which one.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Man on Wire

I watched this great little documentary last week called Man on Wire. It is about this French guy named Phillipe Petit who was an accomplished high-wire walker with a flair for guerrilla style acts of grandiose. Quite the juxtaposition, I know. But that is part of why it was so appealing.

The story in and of itself is quite simple yet the storytelling employed by the film makers is top notch. I was immediately pulled in by the personalities of the various characters and was literally mesmerized by the archival footage and still photographs employed to bring the story to life. The footage of Phillipe practicing his craft in a field in France while hanging out with his friends was so interesting to me. It was like a strikingly poignant fairytale come to life. Watching him actually perform his act between the rooftops of the World Trade Center was truly a feat to behold. I was quite simply awestruck.

The biggest surprise of the film, for me personally, was the emotional impact of hearing Phillipe's best friend/co-conspirator and also his girlfriend (I want to make it clear that these are two different people) talk about the falling-out the group of friends had after Phillipe successfully completed his life-long goal. It was also quite interesting to see how his former girlfriend still idolized him. Even after all these years. Truly fascinating.

So yeah, if Man on Wire is in a theater near you, check it out. The characters are larger than life and the archival footage and still photos are amazing.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Union Station


Considering my model limitations, lack of a bounce board, use of a remote, and once again my model limitations, I am very happy with the way this photo turned out. It is pretty much what I had envisioned when I was trying to place the camera and adjust all the different settings. The composition is almost exactly what I wanted and the light through the window in the background turned out great. I really wish I could have got a little more fill light on my face though. Regardless, I am pretty satisfied with the result.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Father's Office 2.0

You may want to sit down before you read my next sentence. There was a time when Father's Office had a few things working against it. The burger (cooked medium of course) and the sweet potato fries with the dipping sauce straight from the hands of God have always made all other tier 2 burger experiences cringe in shame. Kind of like me when I am forced to admit that I kind of like to watch Gossip Girl every once in a while. However, finding a table at Father's Office used to be about as easy as solving a rubix cube while blindfolded and with the threat of being punched in the wiener if you don't solve the cube within 3 minutes hanging over your head. Finding a table was so annoying that I always ordered my food in a to-go box.

But a couple of months ago this all changed. A second location for Father's Office was opened in the Helms Bakery District in Culver City. Ever since this momentous occasion, finding a table at the original Father's Office has been easy like Sunday morning.

So after many well meaning attempts to try out the new Father's Office location, which were always thwarted by my aversion to traveling east of the 405 (aka my laziness), I finally made the trek and am here to tell you that Father's Office 2.0 is fantastic.

The best part about the new location is the abundance of seating. There is a GIGANTIC patio with many tables as well as a spacious interior with plenty of tables. There are tables, chairs, and benches everywhere. Realistically, seating should never be an issue at the new location. Even on a rocking Friday or Saturday night. I also think they have way more cooks on hand to prepare the food. My burger and fries were delivered to my lovely little table on the patio in record time. And while my food was delivered in record time, none of the hallmarks of quality for which I hold Father's Office so dear to my heart were sacrificed. The only drawback for the new location is that the fries are served in a little silver basket instead of the cool silver shopping cart used at the original location.

All in all, the new Father's Office is really the bomb dot org. Yet I will forever remain loyal to the original. Especially now that seating is no longer an issue thanks to the second location. However, if I am ever in Culver City, whether it be for an art gallery or to see a movie at the Pacific Culver Theater, Father's Office will be the first place on my list when deciding where to dine.

Friday, August 8, 2008

The Jump Off

So I read today that Georgia and Russia were on the brink of war and that Russia was moving troops and tanks into South Ossetia. I mentioned this to my co-worker and without missing a beat she responds with " I knew something was going to jump off today." My first thought was wow, she must be really plugged in to the world news scene and probably has some interesting insight into this topic. So I ask how she knew something was going to happen today. And her immediate response was "eight eight oh eight " (8/8/08). Pretty keen insight, yeah? I wonder if she can also guess my weight.

The whole episode from the jump off to the 8/8/08 just cracked me up. Then again, it might be one of those "you had to be there" type things.

Monday, August 4, 2008

25 Degrees

I have been really disappointed in the quality of my blog over the last couple of months. My jokes haven't been as funny. My insights haven't been nearly as profound. And maybe worst of all, my movie reviews have been incredibly shallow and lacking in regularity. I have been meaning to rectify this situation for the last couple of weeks but have been unable to come up with quality material. I ask myself why and am unable to come up with a quality reason for my lack of inspiration. In an effort to recapture my former glory I decided to revisit one of my favorite topics - The LA Burger Scene.

For the record, there are three tiers of the burger world as defined by me. These tiers are most easily defined by the price of the burger and are broken out as such:

Tier 1 - $0-$9.99
Tier 2 - $10-$19.99
Tier 3- $20 and above

Here are the reigning champs for each tier:

Tier 1 - In-n-Out Burger
Tier 2 - Fathers Office - And for all you contrarians who enjoy arguing simply for the sake of arguing, don't even bother mentioning The Counter in the comments. We all know that Fathers Office is by far the superior burger.
Tier 3- DB Burger. Yes, I know that technically this is a burger from the NYC but it is so amazing that it deserves top billing in this blog. Picture if you can braised short ribs and foie gras wrapped in top notch beef and sandwiched between two slices of heaven aka the bun of delight.

So now we have a new entrant in the contest - 25 Degrees. I have been meaning to go there ever since Joe Escalante of The Vandals and the 103.1 morning show declared it to be the best burger in LA.

25 Degrees (for some reason I kept calling it 28 Degrees. Maybe it was due to my affinity for a great little band called 98 Degrees. You may have heard of them. PS I totally stole this joke and am not ashamed of it.) is located on the ground level of The Roosevelt Hotel, which by the way is pretty awesome. It totally crushes The Chateau Marmont in every aspect ranging from architecture to ambiance. Oh yeah, and the burger is like 300 times better as well. If you haven't been to the Roosevelt you should totally stop by the next time you are in Hollywood. Hollywood, yuck. This is really the only drawback to 25 Degrees. You have to drive ALL THE WAY to Hollywood. I was reminded of the reality of ALL THE WAY to Hollywood on Saturday when I was distracted by this totally awesome story that I was telling and missed the La Brea exit and decided to take the 101 instead. I know that Mike swears the 101 is faster but it really isn't. I promise. So I got stuck in traffic on the 101 and it took forever to finally get to 25 Degrees. Luckily for me I didn't run out of totally awesome stories to tell and the time passed quickly.

I am really struggling right now with how best to summarize my 25 Degrees experience so I think I will just dive right in. The decor was fantastic. The deep burgundy booths combined with great wallpaper and cool light fixtures was perfect. As I side note, I learned that the wallpaper was velvet flocked wallpaper.

Now for the burger. I ordered the number one, the highlights of which were the caramelized onions and bacon. The beef was excellent. The bun was superb. After all was said and done, it ranked number two on my list of best tier 2 burgers. I don't think I would drive ALL THE WAY to Hollywood for the burger. However, if I was already at the ArcLight and in the mood for a burger, 25 Degrees is without a doubt the place I would go.

But wait, I am forgetting the best part. The sweet potato fries were undoubtedly the best sweet potato fries I have ever had. If I could combine the sweet potato fries from 25 Degrees with the special sweet potato fries dipping sauce from Fathers Office, I think I would literally be in heaven. They were really that good. But wait, there is more. I also was able to try the regular fries and they were undoubtedly the best fries I have ever had. Nice and thin. Perfectly cooked. And with great seasoning as well.

So overall I loved my trip to 25 Degrees. The solid burger combined with the great atmosphere and the best. fries. ever. combined to make a great burger eating experience. However, it is still no Fathers Office. And as I mentioned before I would probably not drive ALL THE WAY to Hollywood just for the burger. But I will definitely go back. Maybe next time I am at the ArcLight.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Mikey's The Big Wiener Update

When I originally wrote the post about Mikey's Weepies Music Video it was to congratulate him for winning the contest. However, when I linked to the contest info I realized that they were not going to officially announce the winner until July 29th - today. I didn't want to get anybody in trouble or scoop The Weepies themselves so I modified my post to congratulate him on being named a finalist. But now it is official. So congratulations Mike Warner. As I said before, I guess you don't suck at your job nor at making music videos. I just have one remaining question. The press release states that "Michael won $10,000 and more." What does the more refer to? I am hoping that more refers to the complete Sex And The City Collection on Blu-Ray.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Too Cuil For School?

Word on the street is that Cuil, the new search engine that launched today, is supposed to give Google a run for its money. Only time will tell I guess. I played around with it a little today and liked the way results came back with a snapshot of the web site. Images included sometimes. Cuil supposedly has 121,617,892,992 web sites indexed for its searches. Rumor has it that that is more than Google uses. Is it true? I have no idea. Do I care? Not really. What it comes down to for me is breaking the habit that I have developed over the years of using Google. But really, do I need to break this habit? Google has yet to let me down. I love my Gmail. I love my Google homepage with my movie times widget. I love my Google reader. I just love Google. Cuil is going to need to do something impressive to get me to switch. Will they be successful? I have no idea. Will it be interesting to watch? Of course.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Mikey's The Big Wiener

A few weeks ago my friend who sometimes refers to himself as The Boxpilot submitted an entry to The Weepies music video contest. The essence of the contest was that The Weepies decided to take their $10,000 music video budget and award it to whoever came up with the best idea. The winning video would also become their official video for their song Hideaway.

About a week ago, I found out that Mikey's entry was selected as a finalist. So I went to the contest website to see what kind of competition he was up against. I almost made it through 2 other entries before I was forced to tap out due to the lameness of the other finalists. Mikey's entry was so much better that it wasn't even close. Way to go Mikey. Make sure this goes on your reel. Right after Stealth and Zoom of course.

In honor of Mikey's super awesome achievement, I decided to post the video below for your viewing pleasure. My favorite parts of the video are the vignetting and the magic bag. I wish I had a magic bag like that. I think my life would be so much more enjoyable if every time I reached in to my bag I was able to pull out exactly what the moment required and then it glowed or flashed with triumph.

Oh yeah, and make sure you watch the video all the way to the end. The payoff is quite nice.

Monday, July 21, 2008

I Just Want My Phone Call


Soooo, Dark Knight. I have seen it twice already and will probably see it one more time before it leaves the theaters. It was near perfection. What more can be said? Well I have a few more things to say. I was hooked immediately by the opening sequence. I felt like I was watching a scene from Heat. Heath Ledger. Heath Ledger. Heath Ledger. I am at a loss for words. His portrayal of The Joker was legendary. The part that really stood out to me the most was the way he would kind of lick his lips and swallow. Absolutely twisted and disturbing. My crappy, hyperbole filled words cannot do justice to describing how amazing he was. And finally, the soundtrack blew my mind. There was this recurring kind of screeching sound (violins maybe) that amped up the intensity of every scene in which it was used by a factor of like 3 million.

One last thing. There is a reason that Dark Knight did almost $160 million in domestic box office sales this weekend. Believe the hype and watch this movie. One of my friends, texted me this weekend saying that it was instantly in his top 5 movies of all time. Maybe he was caught up in the delirium of the moment. Maybe not. All I know is that it is really really really good.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Mad Men

My second favorite television drama of all time returns in roughly two weeks. Strong words, I know. Yet true words. Mad Men is hands down my second favorite television drama of all time. The writing is superb. The acting is top notch. But it is the production design that stole my heart. Everything from the costumes to the TV sets playing actual clips from the era in the background is pitch perfect. If Mad Men was a video game, the production design would be a flawless victory.

As I mentioned before, the season two premiere is in roughly two weeks - July 27. The premiere will be available on-demand the following day. I will be waiting for the on-demand version because my lame-ass cable provider does not offer AMC in HD. However, Mad Men on-demand is available in HD. Therefore, I will wait the extra day to enjoy the beauty of HD.

To give you, the reader, a little taste of what you have been missing if you have not yet watched an episode, I am embedding a my favorite clip from season one which just so happens to be from the season finale. Here is the setup:

Don Draper - the shows flawed hero - has recently been promoted to partner at his Madison Avenue Ad Agency - Sterling Cooper. He has built his reputation on his creative genius and his other-worldly ability to sell the clients on the greatness of his ideas. The pitch from this scene is being made to Eastman Kodak who is looking for a way to sell their innovative slide projector "wheel." The idea that Don comes up with is nothing short of magical due to the emotions it evokes. The power of the scene is that much more impressive when you, the viewer, have the context of the previous 12.9 episodes. I try to keep this blag a spoiler-free zone so I will leave the set-up at that.



If you have not yet had the opportunity to experience Mad Men in it's full length episodic glory, do yourself a favor and watch a few. You will be hooked. I promise. Also, there are only 13 episodes in the first season so there is no need to feel overwhelmed by adding another series to your portfolio. Especially considering we are currently buried in the depths of TV hell that is the summer months.

PS Season two starts in two weeks. There is still time to get caught up. You can thank me later.

Friday, July 11, 2008

A Milli A Milli A Milli

Tha Carter III has been in stores for one month and one day as of today. If you are still not listening to it than I don't think we can be friends. Seriously. If you don't appreciate the pounding bass coupled with the genius Rick Ross sample of A Milli than I don't think we will ever hang out. Seriously. If you can't recognize the genius of "Safe sex is great sex, so you better use a latex, cause you don't want that late text, that "I think I'm late" text." from the Lollipop remix than don't even bother asking me if I want to grab some pho with you. Seriously.

PS click here to download a copy of the A Milli remix which dropped to celebrate the million copies sold mark.

Monday, July 7, 2008

The Importance of Opinions

Kenneth Turan of the LA Times wrote and excellent piece today on what it means to be a film critic and the importance of staying true to your beliefs. Click here for the full article. This article found particular resonance with me because of a conversation I had yesterday with multiple friends regarding Wall-E. The essence of the conversation was that overall Wall-E was a great movie, however, the vast majority of the conversation revolved around finding fault with the animation, or internal consistency, or science fiction logic. As the conversation progressed I found myself questioning my initial opinion of the film. I had to keep reminding myself that I thoroughly enjoyed Wall-E and not to let subsequent criticism tarnish that experience. This article was a good reminder of the importance of trusting personal impressions and holding to one's opinion because it is in fact one's opinion. Turan said it best when he cited the following passage from Robert Warshow's The Immediate Experience:

"A man goes to the movies. The critic must me honest enough to admit that he is a man."

In culmination, I exhort you, the faithful reader, to not hesitate to form your own opinions regarding film, literature, art, and even sports. For they are in fact your opinions.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Don't Brave the Wicked Water Unless You Got Powaaa

In conjunction with today's limited release of the Back to the Future II inspired Nike Hyperdunks - McFly Edition (special flux capacitor included, no really, special flux capacitor included) Nike released the latest Hyperdunk commercial and it is hilarious. Production value is excellent and the dialog is fantastic. It had me rolling with joy. Especially after the barber shop scene. Truly top notch. Makes me want to go out and buy a pair of Hyperdunks. Oh wait, I forgot to set up camp last night outside of Undefeated in Santa Monica to secure my limited edition pair, complete with hover board inspired insoles.

Click here for a great image gallery provided courtesy of Gizmodo.com and see below for the new commercial. Enjoy.


Monday, June 30, 2008

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Good News

Last night Jason Bentley mentioned in passing that the Junior Boys will be releasing a new album in the near future. I don't really have the energy to dig up more extensive information right now so I will simply say that I was quite excited upon hearing this news.

My Junior Boys infatuation started about two years ago thanks to a sweet ass summer mix tape cd put together by the notorious National Geographic. After all this time, my love has not diminished in the least. It has only grown deeper and more appreciative. Similar to my love of Steve McQueen. How gay am I right now? Wait, don't answer that.

While on the topic of Junior Boys, here is a copy of the The Dead Horse EP for your downloading pleasure. The Tensnake remix of FM is quite enjoyable.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Friday, June 20, 2008

It's Funny Because It's True


Oh xkcd - a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language - by Randall Monroe - you know me far to well.

Monday, June 9, 2008

iPhone Here I Come

The 16GB iPhone with 3G capability has finally arrived.

I will be lined up on July 11th with my $299 in hand. I think I may go for the white version.

I'm an Idealist

Bethlehem Shoals of FreeDarko.com perfectly sums up my feelings on the Celtics/Lakers game from last night here. He makes an important clarification of his position in the comments when he says the following:

"Again—and I'm going to back away soon, in the faint hopes that someone agreed with me and will take my side here—there's a positive/negative, create/destroy dichotomy i am setting up. It's about what teams could play with no one else on the floor. Whether anyone can imagine what the perfect version of your style would look like."

I pretty much hate the Eastern Conference and their style of play. I can respect it to some degree but do not find it aesthetically pleasing in the least.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Newsflash

If you think Paul Pierce is Willis Reed, I have a newsflash for you Walkter Cronkite. He isn't. And guess what, Kobe Bryant is not Michael Jordan. And the fact that the last time the Celtics played the Lakers in the NBA Finals was over 20 years ago really makes this whole "rivalry" talk meaningless. How can there be a rivalry when the vast majority of the people playing in the "rivalry" were not even in kindergarten yet the last time the two teams met?

The history of the game is important. I get it. I respect it. But I am tired of having it shoved down my throat. The game was not "better" back in the "good old days." Why can't we appreciate the current players for who they are and what they are doing now? Kobe Bryant is Kobe Bryant and he is amazing. Respect him for his game and for his impact and for what he is doing now. Stop forcing the Michael Jordan comparisons. Paul Pierce played a good game last night. He wasn't injured. If he was injured he wouldn't have walked back on to the court three minutes later and proceeded to play at the same level as prior to the "injury." He is not Willis Reed. I repeat, he is not Willis Reed. He is Paul Pierce. Respect him for who he is. Seriously, this whole nostalgia thing makes me want to beat my head against the table. Appreciate the current crop of players and athletic feats for who and what they are. They are not inherently better or worse than some twisted nostalgia for the long gone golden age of yore when times were simpler and basketball was more "pure."

Friday, May 23, 2008

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I still don't like teams from Boston

I have seen this picture many, many times over the last couple of months in various corners of the interwob. Guess what, it still makes me laugh each and every time I see it. I even laugh every time I see that guy on TV standing behind the bench. I am chuckling even as I write this.


Feel free to leave lewd or suggestive jokes in the comments. As long as they are tastefully funny of course. Emphasis on the funny.