Friday, December 7, 2007

I Now Like Gum?

For as long as I can remember, I have not really been a fan of gum. However, If forced to choose between gum and the painful torture of sitting through another viewing of National Treasure I would most assuredly choose the gum. What I am trying to say is that 8.37 times out of ten, when offered a piece of gum, I would respectfully decline the offer. When pressured on my response I often reply that it makes my jaw tired. I guess I have weak mandibular muscles? Or maybe I am just plain lazy and chewing gum takes way to much work?

Now that the stage is set, I take you, the reader, back in time. We are not going back to far. Just to last Saturday evening. PS you can picture me as The Ghost of Christmas Past or The Delorian if that makes this easier for you. But back to the story at hand. I was on the cusp of my departure from the annual holiday party at the chapel when I felt the finger of God reach out and touch my life. A friend of mine offered me a piece of gum with no ultimatum and for some strange reason I accepted the offer without hesitation. I popped in the gum and was almost knocked off my feet by the explosion of joy in my mouth. The perfect meld of mint and lime was simply divine. It was like the two flavors were battling for supremacy resulting in an unparalleled harmonic convergence of bliss right in my mouth. To this my only reply is God bless the innovative minds at Orbit that somehow came up with the perfect synthesis of mint and lime resulting in the party in my mouth goodness of Mint Mojito Gum. Sheer genius.

Needless to say, I must now reconsider my long standing ambivalence to gum. I may even purchase my first package of gum ever tonight just to recreate the joyful experience of that fateful evening. Crazy. I know. But I think it is healthy and productive to re-evaluate our beliefs and perhaps make a change for the better as more information and viewpoints become available to us.

2 comments:

matt said...

"an unparalleled harmonic convergence of bliss right in my mouth"

That's what she said.

Dubious Brown said...

gum, like jazz flute, is for little sissy boys...